Man[goes] to Believe

        Learning and truly understanding something while just sitting and processing something displayed in a book or a blackboard has never been my thing. While this meant I always believed in experience and practice, many of the opportunities (like solving math problems with no real word effect) never interested me. The expectation to perform pressured me to take these opportunities, especially for the math contests I started doing. This tired me out really quickly since I had no interest in just memorizing instances and the formulas for them. What I really want is exposure to different real life scenarios that bring up different approaches to problems. For example, currently working at a small Indian grocery store has taught me how different employees put importance to different attributes, be it consumer friendliness, work efficiency, or low wastage. In addition, it also gave me an insight at the logistics of the supply and how it affects wastage and product storage. And not only this, but it also showed the importance of each individual worker in such small scale businesses. As such, I want to study for a semester in the National University of Singapore. Even though problems that arise might be similar, people throughout the world might have different approaches and ideas, and these different solutions and approaches are what causes growth, and I personally think that it is exciting and inspiring.

      As such I will always look to experience new things even if it makes me uncomfortable because new things provide very useful experience and knowledge

I BELIEVE . . .

Man[goes] to Majestic Swiss Alps

         Tempted to slide down the mountain’s steep slope on that sunny yet frigid day, I started to lumber up. This was the first time I had been on top of a mountain, but had been on top of  hills. I was and currently am usually an acrophobia person. So I did have scary thoughts about falling down from the mountain, yet my desire made me start lumbering up to slide down the slope. The other tourists also determined to reach higher up the slope, effortlessly climbed as I struggled for success as if there was a huge load preventing me. While trying TO emulate the other tourists, I was taken aback by the fact that I couldn’t climb up without difficulty.

         The tourists started sliding down, after looking out into the sky and the forests below,  like there were no concerns while I was still trudging lumbering my way up the slope, and through the snow. It was winter and the mountains were covered in snow and ice, the mountains were part of the majestic Swiss Alps. I expected assumed that the other tourists were cold because of the nail biting sensation of the cold snow. The snow would also melt and drench apparel. “How were they not suffering because of the cold?”, I wondered. While the other tourists were wearing water & winter resistant clothes, I was wearing my Jeans. This was the worst decision anyone could have made, except for wearing shorts, since it had pores through which the snow could enter.  I reckoned that I could actually slide down without suffering, so I started to slide down. Wearing Jeans was the worst decision I could have ever made from my apparel choice. It had pores through which the snow could enter and there was melted snow everywhere on me. The freezing slush drenched my clothes sending a shiver up my spines. My shoes were not made for stomping and hiking around in snow, so they started leaking. This was very bad news on the top of a mountain in the Alps. I guess I should have worn the other pair which was in better shape.

        I did not know what to do! My other pair of shoes were at the hotel which was far away. Alas, I had to suffer the pricking pain of the melted, numbing snow in my shoe. Since I noticed the melted snow when we were halfway down the mountain, I carried on the treacherous, long journey, a century on my time scale to the hotel.Now that I look at my actions, it seems pretty insipid of me. But my desire must have taken over me. My actions and the consequences following them, have taught me to take more precautions.

Man[goes] to Learn About His Name

Arjun is a boy's name of Sanskrit origin meaning "bright, shining, fair". This name stands for confidence and power.

Names matter!! In addition to identity, names influence who we are and how others view us. But even more important, names may carry a story of the past or epic and may be passed down through generations. My case is not different!! Arjun name is based on Arjuna, a legendary hero who is a best archer in central character of the Hindu epic Mahabharata. He was a close friend of Lord Krishna and considered the greatest warrior on earth. Arjuna was a sensitive but extremely thoughtful, righteous person with a great sense of duty. The relationship between Krishna and Arjuna symbolizes the unity of Brahman (Absolute Reality) and Atman (the Self or Soul), one of the fundamental principles of Hinduism.

The given name when we are child might influence the personality. People don’t select their names and some may not like their names. But the name is a central part of who we are. It follows wherever we go. It might have influence on how we’re perceived. This will have impact on psychology of the person. As per scientists, many internal factors such as personality, self-perception etc. influence physicality. Our appearance impacts how other people perceive us. 

I influenced by Arjun from his determination and fighting nature. I learned that life is all about survival even in the hardest of times. How they acknowledge their wrongdoings and taking up the responsibility to rectify them is what that makes them great.
One of Arjuna’s greatest values is that he treated everyone equally. He did not see status much, nor did he think that women were less than men. That has influenced me a lot in my personality.
In sum, my personality like determination, loyalty, compassion, humility, courage and equality influenced from Arjuna.

Man[goes] to the Learn more about Car

Recently, a friend of mine decided use an great tactic to get me Forza Horizon 4 (a racing game) for free. It is supposed to as realistic as possible, but it is still broken in the customizations that you can do to certain cars.

Anyway being a car game, I decided to test certain very interesting cars that I have been wondering about. Something I released was the difference in performance of the same cars between games. I also have the game Need for Speed: Heat. By performance, I don't mean the feel but the actual numbers and relative performance. I would say it made feel like Need for Speed was more biased towards American cars? Or do I think that because my favorite brand, Porsche, was underrated according to me? No, no, no, I don't think that is it, because relatively the other Asian & European cars performed similarly. So is there a bias? But if that were the case, wouldn't they have done works with Nike instead of Adidas for the fashion. Honestly, I am just confused right now.

Possibly My Favorite Car (Porsche 911 GT3 RS)

Anyway, back to Forza. That game crashes almost every 30-45 minutes and this due to a certain compatibility issue between the game and Windows. But, who made Windows? Microsoft. And, who partly made Forza? Microsoft. What are you doing Microsoft!!!!?? You can't make your game work properly with your own operating system?

Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution X

So, moving away, the Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution X is a great car. I would really like own one as my first car. Let's see where that goes.

Toodaloo

Man[goes] to Sad Town

 

“If you tell a lie frequently enough, it will be believed.” This quote might have been uttered from a despicable man, but the fact is, that is how most of us get confidence, including me in the past. But why this method? Why do we have to be disappointed in our abilities so much that we have to lie to ourselves to strive towards our dreams? 

We crusade for success by suffering, thinking that the victory will be sweet and long lasting.  But, no! It is the path that lasts long, not the victory or the defeat. And to find success, suffering through the path is not the answer, not mentioning society defines success materialistically. Otherwise, life will just be a chain of suffering. It is more intelligent to know more about our weaknesses and work on them than to hide them, taking a stride towards “success.” Success, I define as accepting yourself and being satisfied with your path, while enjoying the challenges. Success is not how much fame you have, or how much you make in a year. It is not how good one’s academic ranking is. It is not about where you fall on society’s scale.

This I found out from an assortment of experiences: be it the experience of changing between 3 school systems (India to England to India to here); be it the experiences of having to build new social circles; be it the bullying that goes along with the weakness of innocence; be it the loneliness that I experienced due to my bad social choices; be it my betrayal of my math teacher’s expectations that then introduced me to math contests; be it the experience of going to Mathcounts States; be it the heartbreak of high-school not being a new start; be it my good results in a myriad of math contests; be it my bad results in the same contests; be it the slow hatred that built up for these contests due to their “formula memorizing nature”. 

Sometimes during my periods of adaptation, I used to just stare off into the distance when I wondered about my path at 3:00am wide awake. All I would see was a hazy road. Now, it has become clearer. I used to watch videos of these “philosophers,” and was just confused. Now, I listen to Sadhguru, a famous Indian Yogi, and think: “Wow! That’s so wise and simple, but so hard to achieve.”

But sadly, I have not done everything right. What I know is miniscule in comparison to the world’s knowledge. That is why I am a seeker, seeking advice and knowledge.

And recently, my therapist showed me a video that portrayed life as a whirlpool. There are two ways to deal with it. One is to just become numb to it and ride the whirlpool. While, the other is to go through the whirlpool, understanding the inner workings and appearing in a more peaceful place. And this video revealed to me that I had just tried to become numb. It is now my goal to journey through the whirlpool fighting through the difficulties of disappointment to become appointed in a position of self-satisfaction. Hmfff!! That is what I will do.

Man[goes] to Listen to Music

 Soundtrack 2 My Life - Kid Cudi

 "No sitcom could teach Scott about the dram" -  He talks about how life is not like how it is depicted in media and TV shows and such. This shows that life should not be filled with dreams that have no chance of getting met and such. 

We also see that he was raised only by his mom. He always wondered how she got enough money to buy him his Christmas presents and appreciates her dear effort for him.

However, there are always hidden things that people can not perceive. And for Cudi, it is the hidden seed of sadness within him.

The chorus conveys that he is finally exposing this sadness within him. As such, he moves up from the typical theme of drugs and such, and instead focusing on mental health. Instead he mentions how he took "an eighth of shrooms" just to find the true meaning of the world and see the true intent of the universe.

The sadness within him apparently started when his dad died. And he talks about his sadness openly because he doesn't want people to be left alone in their sadness. He goes on to say how he feels alone and seems like he is trapped in a dark cocoon. There is no happiness as shown with no sunlight. As such, this also provides a precursor to the song Pursuit of Happiness. 

Then he goes on to talk about how he is close to trying new drugs and already consumes alcohol and some drugs. He also mentions questionable coping mechanisms like sex and weed. This shows how people falling to bad habits is not always not their fault. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqOMVuTFuDk

https://genius.com/Kid-cudi-soundtrack-2-my-life-lyrics

 

Man[goes] to Read People (Hopefully as Easily as a Book)

So, yeah.... I put pieces of a puzzle together. The whole picture of a house in the middle trees was born. So yeah ... Oh, and nothing was leftover since all the pieces were needed to be used.

Anyway in seriousness, reading people has become an important skill of me so I can both avoid "bad" people and mingle with "good" people. Well, of course there are in between. And these "bad" people might not seem bad to others and these "good" people might not seem good to others since everyone has different perspectives and opinions.

Anyway, a very important part of reading people is putting various events together, be it displayed attitudes, reactions to certain problems, their comments, their hobbies, periods of dishonesty, periods of trust and honesty, etc. This can also differ based on the type of interaction. Like, reading people through voice chats in Discord is different than interactions in real life. In Discord, leading on with the example, a lot needs to understand through comments, silences, tone of voice, etc. In person, however, one can read the body language and facial expressions and such.

But, this is not perfect and this is also not the same as judging people. It is way to more easily understand people and to create realistic expectations.

Again, however, this needs to be taken with many grains of salt, because many of the pieces to help guide in creating an understanding of a person can be misunderstanding. For instance, I laugh at precarious situations, like when there are friends explaining their difficulties. I don't do that because I don't care, but because I just find it funny about how the world smites everybody. LMAO, you also have this problem. Damn, sad. Well, Life . . .

Man[goes] to the Rendezvous

The word rendezvous seems just so professional. I rarely use the word because of the professionalism of the word. It is used in so many movies associated with the military and similar occupations. It feels like the abbreviation ETA needs to be always used with this word. The special way of saying "vous" also makes it sound foreign and makes it seem classy like "sch." This is different from how I would have thought to say these collection of words since I think I am a logical guy, and also many others who try to learn a second language, like my dad. Like, each single sound of each letter would be put together to enunciate the word. But, the word "rendezvous" like many are part of this mystical world that make no sense logically but follow these rules that are created in the world of a language.

But then there words whose enunciation make literally no fricking sense like onomatopoeia. Well it makes a bit of sense but it sounds like "onomanopia." That is how I learned for it be pronounced. Now I watch a youtube video and when going slowly the guy enunciates the "t." Like what, the most complex word and most confusing word I learned for a while was learned in a wrong way. Great. I can't tell if the people write down a word first or they pronounce it first. If they pronounce it right, then why don't they just write the word according to how you pronounce it.

YOU KNOW LOGIC. NO, NO, NOT THE RAPPER LOGIC, BUT THE OTHER ONE. WELL WE ARE GONNA THROW THAT OUT OF THE WINDOW.

Man[goes] to Reflect

 To be honest, I have no idea what happened in the past semester. I am in a state of "lostness," partly why I haven't applied to any colleges yet. So, reading huh? Solo reading is pretty fun if you actually read, but many people don't read. I will be honest and say I did not read most of the time. But when I did read what I wanted it was fun. I had plans to read Sherlock Holmes, but didn't (I wish I did). So, I wish we would have more time for choice reading, yes. There is not too much work in 12 AP English according to me, but you need to stay on top of it. If you get lazy then there is just way too much work and then you have to try out shortcuts and so on. The research essay was definitely the most interesting because I had to put a lot effort to maintain my concentration. It actually made me force myself to use my brain for once. I really think it is making me put a foot in the right direction to do my work. The Harkness weren't really my thing because I was always scared of being judged for my observation. I am not really a language guy, so yeah..... 

As you can see, I put whatever comes to brain into my blog and like to my own analysis for some stuff. So, I really doing blogs. I forces me to put my thoughts into words and helps me develop my own voice and style of writing.

I honestly think English classes are wrongly formatted sometimes because you can't express your own voice and write in your own style. 

Man[goes] to Storytelling Session

 

There is style in Indian parenting. “Once upon a time”... these four words have the magical power to suddenly attract and shift the any age kids’ mind to another world, virtual reality including me. These stories have the super power of impacting young minds. What stories  and how is it narrated to kids is utmost importance.

For grand parents and parents story telling is an opportunity to take them to unknown. Those are exciting journeys to teach moral and life lesson to children. Stories provide undisturbed attention of children in the family.  It gives chance to connect between children and adults in the family. It helps to develop imagination, creativity, life values and personalities in kids. I used to get thrilled and wait for hours when grand parents promised me to tell stories. 

There are thousands of mythological stories told in India. Mahabharata is a one of the two Sanskrit epics, another is Ramayana.  Mahabharata is a story of struggle between two cousin groups, Pandavas and Kauravas for the kingdom. Arjun is one of the main character in the epic and one of the Pandavas.  He is a great warrior and favorite of lord Krishna. He is the hero of the war between Pandavas and Kauravas.  He won the war against injustice with the help of Krishna. Everlasting friendship of lord Krishna and Arjun all of us look up to. The unconditionally support and motivation provided by lord Krishna, and capabilities of Arjun helped Pandavas to win the war. Arjuna stand for the right and fought for it as a great warrior duty. Contrarily, from Kauravas we can learn that a revenge attitude can only lead to his downfall.

There are many short stories collection like Panchatantra.  These mythological stories teach spirit and the value system of the life. These stories also give many life lessons I might discuss about in a later post